Reminiscing... and confused.

Okay, I know that no one really reads this blog.
But that's fine. Cuz that means I can get out all my thoughts, and if people want to read them they can. But if not at least I know its out there.
It's hard being where I am now.


No. I'm not in Disney anymore.
It's almost been a year since I first started my internship. But I still feel like it was only maybe a month ago. It's that fresh in my mind.
.... I'm not having Disney themed dreams every other night anymore. That's good.

But....

It keeps popping up in my mind when I least expect it.
It was hard leaving.
Yes. I cried. I didn't want to, but I did anyway.
Because as a kid I dreamed of living in Disney World, and I practically was. I never thought it would actually be possible. And Disney believes in everything I believe in. Before I left for my internship last January, everyone who heard said that it was perfect for me. That I belonged there.
And... they're probably right.
But..... it was so much. It's a fantasy world over there. Reality is thrown right out the window.
And yeah... even though I do much better in the fantasy world than I do in the real world, I still felt like I was supposed to be in the real world. I mean, its the real world. You can't just leave it behind.
....or.... can you?
Living in a fantasy world seems too good to be true.
And true, Disney World's not perfect.

(gasp! not perfect! I know! That's crazy talk!..... but hey, nothing's perfect... not even Disney)

But its beautiful and is everything I ever dreamed of.

And every time I think of it, I get really sad. Cuz..... I'm not there.

And the question has run through my mind time and time again since I left....

"Should I go back?"

Every time someone asks me about my internship, they always- ALWAYS- ask me "When are you going back..... or are you going back?"

And I always say "I don't know!" *inner conflict and turmoil*


It's my dream place. My dream job. My dream life. Pretty much all my dreams are there.

But..... for some bizarre reason.... I can't decide if it's a good idea to go back or not.

....... heh...

One of my friends I met on my internship (he was a monorail pilot, and then he got a professional internship in Guest Relations at Animal Kingdom- where I worked when I was there)... before I left, he told me quite confidently that I'd be back. He just.... knew somehow.
How do you know?
.... I always think of that. Mostly because he seemed to be able to understand me better than I could understand myself.
He probably wouldn't be surprised if he heard that I was wrestling with the decision to go back or not.

He'd probably be like, "Easy. Come back. It's obviously your dream. So follow it."

And now one of my other friends who worked the Jungle Cruise is back there. She knew she'd be coming back. And so did my monorail pilot friend.

..... will he be right about me too?

......... I just... don't want to go alone. I think that's a big portion of the problem.
Cuz yeah, they'll be there. But I want someone to move down there with and room with and such. They're all settled, and I don't want to have to try to find someone after I go down to Florida.

Also... it's really far away from everyone in my family. I'm pretty sure none of my relatives live anywhere near Florida. And I've moved a TON in my life, but I've always had my family go places with me. This time, I'd really be on my own. And that scares the heck out of me.

Not to mention I don't know if I should work at Disney, or work near Disney and then get a resident pass or something. Cuz when you work at Disney, it sucks you in. You, your thoughts, your free time, your life...... that's a lot of Disney. Even I'd have trouble handling THAT much Disney.

But..... I still want to go back.

Thing is, after I stop listening to the park soundtracks, or after I start thinking of something else or stop telling people about Disney...... I'm fine. When my mind's off of it, I'm okay. Then I'm like, "why am I getting so worked up?"

But later on, it always happens again.

I really should finish college though. I've only done one semester. And now I'm working so I can pay for more classes.
.... though I'm learning theatre and art. I suppose you could take classes here and there and learn those things on and off throughout life.
And I know I'm going to be working some small job and doing theatre and art on the side... at least until I can get a theatre job (or an art job if I'm crazy lucky). So.... why not go back to Disney and entertain everyday?

...... after writing all this, it's occurred to me that the biggest reason I don't want to go is because I don't want to go alone. That's my biggest fear.

I do know a couple people down there though. That's a start. But I want to find someone (a good friend or something) that I can go down to Florida with. If I could find someone, it'd be way easier.
But that's gonna be hard.
All my friends are in colleges far away. And I don't think any of them want to go to Disney.

...If I could have changed one thing about my internship, I would have found someone to go with that I knew already. If I go back... that's what I'd like to do.

But where do you find someone like that in the Midwest? Where I live, hardly anyone has ever BEEN to Disney World. And they don't really care that they haven't gone.



..... heh... I just thought of something...

if a dream is a wish your heart makes, does that mean that my heart is wishing to go back to Disney? Cuz I've dreamed about going back so many times since I left....

Ugh....

Well.... if I do go back to college then I'll have lots of time to decide, I suppose.




Sorry about my random rant (if anyone even reads it). I've been wanting to do this for a while, just to get it out. I feel better now. :P

Epcot

I went to Epcot a few days ago. I had to go by myself cuz all my friends were working or already had other things going on. But I haven't had so much fun by myself for a long time.
Epcot is a good park to go to alone, cuz there aren't a ton of rides, so you don't feel like you need someone to ride rides with. Mostly you're exploring the world showcase, and it's nice to be able to go wherever you want and take as long as you want to look around. :3

I spent almost the entire day at the world showcase. I love it over there. I could live there. :3

My first stop was the Canada pavilion. I didn't spend much time there, but it was nice. I took a couple of pictures of some birds over there (cuz you know, when I go to theme parks I take pictures of birds and nature, not the park :P)

After that came the United Kingdom pavilion. It was wonderful.

I looked in all the shops. They had tea sets in one, jewelry in another, and one store had a section with a whole bunch of Beatles things! (yaaaaayyyyy Beatles!!! :P)
I bought a ring while I was over there.
At this store:

It was a Claddagh ring. Which looks like this:

The heart symbolizes love, the hands symbolize friendship, and the crown symbolizes loyalty. And depending on how you wear it, it can tell people whether you are taken or not.
Wearing the ring so the heart faces towards you means that you're taken. Wearing the ring so that the heart faces away from you means that your heart is free(that's how I wear it).

I spent a little time in the France pavilion too. Though I didn't explore as much there. I'll have to go back and see it again. :3

Then I went to the Morocco pavilion. They had amazing jewelry and decorative plates and music and all sorts of other things. While I was looking in one of the shops, I turned around to find a little girl standing there with a little yellow flower in her hand. She held it up to show me, and I told her it was very pretty. Then she gave it to me and ran off to join her family.

Then I spent about an hour or so in the Japan pavilion. I must have looked at every item in every store. I saw a Japanese drumming show and watched a girl make a piece of candy shaped like a flamingo. I also bought chopsticks (I've always wanted my own pair), three different types of Japanese candy(one of which was recommended to me by one of the Japanese cast members. She said it was one of her favorites so I wanted to try it. And it was really good), and a lucky owl(they were all different colors, and each color was supposed to bring you luck in a different thing. I got the pink owl, which is supposed to bring you luck in romance and friendship). :3
I also got to talk to the cashier from Japan. She was very nice. :3 Once I told her that I had taken a couple years of Japanese she started speaking Japanese to me. She held out my change and asked if I could count it. It was two dollars, so it was pretty easy. Then she asked me my name, and I told her in Japanese. I told her what my Japanese name was in my Japanese class too. Then she told me she had something for me. She took out a tiny folded paper crane, wrote my name in Japanese hiragana, and gave it to me.
I loved the Japan pavilion. I have a feeling I'm going to be spending a lot of time there on my internship. :3

Then I went to the American Adventure. And you know, it was America. But we live in America. So I didn't spend a whole bunch of time in there cuz I know what America's like. :P

The next stop was the Italy pavilion. They had a ton of restaurants, and it smelled really good in there. I really want to eat there before my internship is over.

Then came the Germany pavilion, which was fun. Plenty of alcohol, but I'm underage so of course I didn't have any(I wouldn't want it even if I was twenty-one anyway). And I saw Snow White. :3

After that I went to the China pavilion. It was gorgeous there. They were selling straw hats at one of the stores too, and everyone was looking at them. I did too, and I kinda wanted one, but I didn't get one. I also saw Mulan while I was there. She waved at me. :3

The Norway pavilion was after that. It was nice there. They have a ride called Maelstrom that I rode on. It was fun, though we ran into several trolls. :P
And they had a store that sold clothing worn in Norway. The store was full of coats and jackets. Things my family in the midwest would probably love to have right now, considering how cold it is over there. But since I'm living in Florida right now and already have too many sweaters, I didn't get any coats or jackets there.

Finally came the Mexico pavilion. By that time it was night, and they have a indoor restaurant that has a painted ceiling and painted walls that make it look like like you're outside. It was really cool.
And they had a ride called Gran Fiesta Tour Starring the Three Caballeros. Hardly anyone was riding it when I got there. I had an entire boat to myself! Part of the ride goes right past the people eating at the indoor restaurant. It was awesome. :3

Then I went to Future World and rode Test Track. I love that ride. :3
It was a bit tamer than I remember it being when I rode it as a kid though.

I also went to The Seas with Nemo and Friends. It was a fun ride, but I had even more fun looking through the aquarium in the building the ride was in. They had dolphins! One of the dolphins saw me put my hand on the glass of it's tank and it swam over to me.
I love dolphins. :3

I also got to see Turtle Talk with Crush. I wasn't going to stay for the show after I walked down the hall it was in and looked in the room, but as I was walking away the cast member at the door called out, "You're not going to stay for the show?"
I started to say something, but he kept going.
"You should check it out. It's fun. You can always leave if you don't want to watch the show. But you should go see it."
So I did.
My favorite part was when Crush picked out people from the audience, cuz instead of saying, for example, "the person in the red shirt," he would say "the person in the red shell." :3

Then at the end of the day I got to see Epcot's fireworks show, IllumiNations. It was AMAZING.

All in all, the day was pretty awesome. Tomorrow I have the day off, so I'm going to go to Animal Kingdom (which is where I work, but I almost always stay in the Caravan Stage/Maharajah Jungle Trek area) and check that park out more.
I feel bad when guests ask me where things are (mostly they ask about Expedition Everest) and I don't know any more than they do. Plus, I've never been on Everest. And I want to try it out.
I also want to ride Dinosaur really REALLY badly. I LOVE that ride. :3
And I want to see the It's Tough to be a Bug show. I like that show too.
And I'll probably buy all the different types of food that I always get to see that always make me hungry, like the evil cart right next to the Maharajah Jungle Trek entrance that makes cinnamon glazed almonds and always smells amazing.
Perhaps I'll get ice cream too. And I found out yesterday that they sell turkey legs. The only time I've ever had those is at Thanksgiving, so maybe I'll try that too. :P
And I want to ride Kali River Rapids. That's where my trainer usually works.
And Festival of the Lion King is a must see too, as is Finding Nemo: the Musical.
And yeah..... I'll stop going on about that though. This post is long enough. :P

Have a magical day!

"To all who come to this happy place...welcome." -Walt Disney

In case I haven't already mentioned it (I don't remember if I did, and I'm feeling lazy and don't want to go look at my last post), CP is a Disney Cast Member who is on the college program.
I'm now half way through my training. I'm fully trained for the Flights Of Wonder show in Disney's Animal Kingdom Asia, Caravan Stage(I help seat people and make sure people sit down through the show so that they don't get hit in the head by a flying bird... things like that).

Update about my costume.... I officially know what it looks like!
It's not very exciting, to be honest. It's basically a patterned skirt and a pink blouse. And a plain looking straw hat with a string that I wear on my back in hopes that it'll make it look like more of a costume than a normal outfit. I don't usually wear the hat like I'm supposed to though, cuz I look like a gardener or something.

I have tomorrow and the next day off, then I begin training on the Maharajah Jungle Trek. I have to know a lot of animal facts for that attraction. I'm memorizing facts about komodo dragons, tigers, malayan flying foxes, rodrigues fruit bats, bantengs, eld's deer, blackbucks, blood pythons, and some of the fifty types of birds on the trek. I've found out a lot of things that I didn't know before. Like why bats hang upside down (they have no ankles and can't turn their feet to stand on them), and that in 1979 Cyclone Cecile nearly took out the rodrigues fruit bat population, leaving only seventy of them after the storm.
I don't know what I'm going to do on my days off. I don't have anyone to go to the parks with, and I don't really want to go alone. That's no fun.
I know I'll sleep in. :3 I've been waking up at five the last couple days.

I went to the Magic Kingdom last week. I was invited by a friend I had just recently met. I was a little nervous about only knowing one person, and barely knowing him. But everyone in the group was really fun and we had a blast. I hung out with most of them (the group was kinda big). One girl had the same name as me! She was tons of fun. We sang Disney songs in the park, and even danced a bit. :3
We teamed up with a guy from the group and sang/danced along with a little band singing their version of happy birthday to a guest. Apparently, one of the guest's relatives was recording the band, but began filming us instead when we started dancing.
We were all happy to be a part of that family's memories. That's what cast members are supposed to do- help guests have fun, magical moments that they'll never forget.

I also got to see Cinderella's Castle close up for the first time. It's beautiful. I still haven't seen the Wishes Nighttime Spectacular though. I hope I get to watch that.

I think my favorite rides/attractions in the Magic Kingdom are (in no particular order) Peter Pan's Flight, "it's a small world," The Haunted Mansion, Pirate's of the Caribbean and Stitch's Great Escape. I haven't been on all the attractions in the Magic Kingdom yet though... maybe I'll find some more I really like. And of course, I have to check out the other parks.

That's all for now. I'll write more if anything exciting happens.
Have a magical day!

We Create Happiness

The past four days have been the first days of my participation in the Disney College Program. The Disney College Program is an internship that college students from all over the country, and all over the world, can apply for after their first term of college. Students can apply to work at either Disneyland or Disney World, and there are plenty of "roles" to choose from. I'm working in attractions (meaning I work with the rides and sometimes do intro spiels for shows, things like that) in the Animal Kingdom, in the Asia operations. My first day of attractions training is tomorrow. I won't know exactly what rides/shows I'll be working until then. And that's when I get my costume too.
I'm sure anyone who's been to one of the Disney parks can remember seeing a cast member working and wearing an elaborate costume matching the theme of whatever park they were in. Most of the people in the program hate their costumes. They tend to say that they're really ugly. And yes, some are kinda crazy, like the ones with bright blue pants and orange shirts and such. But some are really cool too. I like most of the dresses I've seen. And some guy cast members who work in the Magic Kingdom have costumes with nice vests and sleeves that look a lot like what some of the Disney princes wear.
Every time I see a cast member in their costume I wonder what mine's going to look like. From what I've seen, not all attractions cast members have costumes like that. But even if no one really likes their costumes, I think it's way more fun to go to work in a costume than a boring, unimaginative uniform that anyone else could wear.
And besides, I've had to wear my fair share of costumes I didn't like. I can think of two right off the bat that I absolutely hated. My costume for 101 Dalmatians Playtime Poppy. The costumes tend to be kind of weird in Playtime Poppy. But I especially hated mine. I was a Boxer Dog. I was dressed up as a brown dog (so a big, brown sweater). But since I was a boxer dog, I was also dressed to look "tough." I had spiked gloves, striped tights and a spiked choker that served as my collar. Those things weren't too bad. But then I had these bright yellow boxing shorts I had to wear. I hated those things so much. And all the "dogs" had to put their hoods up and tighten them around their faces so our hair wouldn't show. I hated that too. Although the boxer dogs had the cutest ears of all the dogs, so that made it a little better. :3 But I definitely didn't keep my hood on backstage. We also had to paint our faces to look like dogs. So my face was all brown with a black nose. I had to go to class with that makeup on after our show previews. My choir teacher looked at me and said, "I think you have something on your face." Yeah, I know I do.
The other costume I hated was my costume for Mrs. Whitewood in the musical, I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change. I had heels (which I hate wearing in general), a business suit/dress thing, and oddly shaped, bright red glasses. Then during rehearsals before we had our dresses for the next scene (a wedding scene) I had to do the next scene in that costume. It had a small dance too, which I could not do in that costume. That made me dislike it even more.
None of the costumes I've seen for the Disney College Program are worse than the boxer dog one I had to wear though, so I'm not worried. :3

It's interesting taking in all the new experiences I've been going through since I started the program. Like living away from home for the first time.
I live in an apartment in Chatham Square, the "middle class" apartment complex. The other complexes are Vista Way, which has sometimes been called the "ghetto complex," (it's not bad though. It just happens to be slightly older than the other complexes and it's the cheapest to live in), and Patterson Court, which is the newest complex and therefore the "upper class" apartments are there.
Each room in the apartments have room for two people. My apartment has three bedrooms, so we have six people in it. Three of them are Puerto Rican, and spend a lot of time talking to each other in Spanish. It's cool to listen to, and they do speak English too, but sometimes I wish I knew more of what they were saying. I feel pretty out of the loop at times.

I've also had to try to use the program's buses. I've never used bus transportation before (not counting middle school), so it's pretty confusing at times.

I can't think of anything else to say, so I guess I'll talk more about the program later.

Have a magical day!